People enjoy a gondola ride along the Seine river, in Paris, last Friday as part of a promotional event organised by a dating company. Notre Dame cathedral is pictured in the background.

Strings attached

By By Sopaporn Kurz
Special to Daily Xpress
Published on June 30, 2008

Marrying a divorced guy guarantees maturity and experience, but be careful if his ex-wife is invited to your wedding

Natthinee found her ideal husband on a dating website. He was a divorcé and a decade older, so he was fully mature, able to commit and had experience with marriage. Life, she says, couldn't be better.

Arisa had the same game plan, but ended up losing. She married a twice-divorced Westerner with two children - and found his ex-wife still attached.

Her husband and his second wife had been separated for more than a decade but didn't divorce until he found Arisa. The ex-wife accepted the divorce, but kept hanging around, using the kids as an excuse to ask for money and acting as though she still owned their house.

She even continued addressing her ex-husband by the affectionate nickname she used to use.

"It was very frustrating," Arisa says. "The worst thing was that my husband refused to speak to her about her intrusions. He just said I was 'thinking too much'.

"I suppose he's happy to be on good terms with her and he doesn't want to spoil things, but that means he's not protecting my feelings, and that's very disappointing."

It's become clear to Arisa that her husband isn't as devoted to her as he was to his ex. "When he married a second time he left everything behind and bought everything new - he started a whole new life with her.

"But for me, everything's a leftover from his previous marriage. I don't mean he should buy all new furniture for me, but he keeps all their old letters, photos and furniture, and that tells me he doesn't care about my feelings."

Arisa is considering her options. If things get worse, her husband might have another divorce in his collection.

She had no idea that marrying into a package deal would be so complicated. "I would advise any girl to really think carefully about marrying a divorcé. Find out about his ex-wife's status first!"