How you would feel if television viewers assumed you were the inspiration behind "Cherry", the villain in "Songkram Nang Fah", or "War of Angels", the television sop depicting infidelity in the skies.

A 44-year-old Thai Airways flight attendant can tell you exactly what it feels like. Her photograph, identifying her as the real-life "Cherry", was posted on a website a month ago.

"Upset, angry … everything," says the cabin attendant. She wants Sunday Xpress to call her "Cherry". She fears her ordeal will be compounded if her name is revealed.

The stewardess, no fan of lakorn, or soap operas, did tune in after friends and family recognised her screen character.

"[I thought] that's not me. I didn't do anything like that. This is made up," she explains. The "she" here is Airky, the 46-year-old author of a 200-page semi-autobiographical best seller that inspired the steamy soap opera.

Things have not been cheery for "Cherry" since the posting of her photograph. "My friends from university, who never used to contact me, started calling ... wanting to know if I'd really done all these awful things," she told Sunday Xpress on her return from Stockholm.

Colleagues  gossip

"Those who don't know me think that I'm a bitch like 'Cherry' in the soap opera, but my family and friends, particularly senior flight attendants at Thai Airways, know the truth and are supportive of me," she says.

"But junior flight attendants [who don't know Airky: she quit the airline in 1995] are wondering if the talk is true, and some gossip behind my back!"

Passengers are oblivious that "Cherry" is linked to the malevolent soap character, but some joke about their pilot being the charlatan Captain "Ning".

As for Airky's motivation: "Cherry", until two years ago was married to the 55-year-old "Ning", who a decade earlier had divorced Airky.

"Cherry" says: "This story is more than 20 years old. I don't know why she wrote it. Maybe she's envious that I have a happy life and the wedding reception she never did."

She denies any cat-fight with Airky. "It's just a soap opera. It's not real. No pregnant stewardess fights with another pregnant stewardess."

By Philip Golingai

SUNDAY XPRESS