Do any of these things work? I want to be bigger and would appreciate your thoughts.

Dick Little in Bangkok

Dear Dick,

There are no herbs, pills, creams or other substances that can enlarge your penis. Surgery and hanging - or stretching - are another story.

Stretching with weights has been used around the world for centuries and is still prescribed by many surgeons after phalloplasty - penile enlargement surgery.

It may actually work, but is questionable, very time-consuming and can have complications like trauma, numbness or impotence.

Phalloplasty is actually two procedures - lengthening and thickening. Since a large portion of your penis is internal, cutting the suspending ligament can make more of it visible. The gain is not much, usually about 2.5 centimetres, and even less when erect.

The more impressive gains are in thickening, which involves more dangerous and controversial surgery: The penis is de-gloved and some material - silicone, harvested cadaver skin, fat - placed under the skin.

Most fillers can be rejected, or they can be absorbed unevenly. Patients' reactions vary from satisfied to horrified. A lot depends on the skill and experience of your surgeon and how well you follow directions.

Since this is not a generally accepted procedure, there's no reliable way to find a competent surgeon.

Erection size varies among ethnic groups and ranges from 10 to 15cm. Most surgeries are done on normal-size patients. I don't recommend it unless you're below 10cm. The surgery is expensive, painful and risky.

E-mail your questions to dr_mike_bkk@yahoo.com.